In this article, the following topics are mentioned: perfectionism and fear of failure.
Perfectionism is a personality trait that can be defined by someone’s need to achieve perfection or to appear without flaws. Perfectionists feel the need to excel and be the absolute best at everything. They work really hard, striving to diminish their imperfections. They are very (self) critical and set unrealistically high expectations of themselves, leading to feelings of inadequacy, failure and unhappiness.
Although a perfectionist never feels good enough about themselves, they always intend to do well.
Perfectionists are similar yet different to high achievers in the sense that high achievers experience joy and feel accomplished when reaching their goals, whereas perfectionists almost never feel happy or relaxed when reaching their goals.
Perfectionism can be divided in three different kinds:
Perfectionism can surface in both children and adults.
There are many factors that can contribute to perfectionism. There is an internal component, but also a social one. Perfectionism is often learned behaviour.
Here are a few factors that play a role in developing perfectionistic behaviour:
Perfectionism can be seen as a blessing and a curse.
Perfectionists themselves often see their perfectionism as a good trait. The positive side of perfectionism lays in the fact that perfectionists are highly ambitious and set high standards and goals in order to achieve success. It can bring them to great heights.
A positive or adaptive perfectionist is capable of adapting in order to reach their goals. They enjoy being challenged, rising to the occasion and benefit from their perfectionistic traits.
Scientists may argue that perfectionism is never a healthy trait stating that the negative side of perfectionism, also called the non-adaptive kind, always catches up with the positive side of perfectionism. This non-adaptive kind of perfectionism is based on the constant feeling of doubting yourself and being unsure about yourself, feeling pressure from yourself and others.
When perfectionism becomes unhealthy and out of control, it can lead to high stress levels, anxiety, extreme worrying and overall feelings of unhappiness. It may even become difficult to reach your ambitions and goals and function in daily life. As such, perfectionism is a trait often diagnosed as part of mental illnesses such as eating disorders, depression or obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
(Cognitive) therapy can be an effective way to treat perfectionism, which is focused on learning new ways of thinking and shifting perfectionistic behaviour towards healthier attitudes regarding your goals, standards and life.
If you recognise any perfectionistic personality traits, you may want to talk with a therapist, especially when perfectionism is interfering with your daily life and happiness.
If you have thoughts of self-harm, please seek medical attention. Speak to a general practitioner or mental health professional. For emergencies, contact 112 (in The Netherlands).
For a listening ear, contact De Luisterlijn (Dutch) . Call 088 0767 000 or chat via their website.
And most importantly:
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